Adoption from Foster Care? My Advice - Do It!
Heather and Bobby Henry recently adopted two children from foster care. Heather shares their story and why they are so glad they adopted!
Two years! Wow! I can’t tell you whether is has been two long years or two short years! What I can tell you is that we are so grateful for all 730 of those days!! Bobby and I adopted Shane and Mariana on Halloween in 2018 after they were in foster care for 1286 days, which means we have almost 2 more years to go before they have been with us longer than in foster care.
Many days I feel like I have been Shane and Mariana’s mom for their whole lives, when we are busy with the day to day of school (or home school during the Pandemic), working full time, making dinner, going to karate, feeding the dogs, scheduling appointments, and arguing over screen time. These days we are just like every other family, going through the routine of the day, working, laughing, wondering how to do common core math...but some days their history comes back and gives us a loud wake up call. There is no doubt that they suffered trauma, and there is no doubt they need extra love, patience, and help.
I would be lying if I said it has been easy. Some days are super hard and I lay in bed after a 17-plus-hour day so physically and mentally exhausted that I can’t settle down. Usually on those nights, I go watch the kids sleep. I hear their calm, steady breaths, I see their beautiful relaxed faces, and it reminds me of how much I love them and how far we have come. I can then fall asleep knowing I am doing my best, and that my children are safe, loved, learning how to trust, how to love, and how to live a happy, fulfilling life
If you are reading this you might be considering adoption from foster care. My advice is - do it. Will it be difficult? Absolutely. Will it be worth it? Absolutely. People ask if we will adopt again, and as a family we have decided we will, in a few years when Shane and Mariana are a little older. Will it be easy then? I doubt it, but I know it will be worth it.
With all of the uncertainty we are facing today, my kids no longer have the uncertainty of where they will sleep tonight and who will be feeding them breakfast in the morning. They have a family, we have a family, while so many do not. We are so grateful to CAP for guiding us through the process two years ago, and we can’t imagine our lives any other way.